Advice For Men and Women (2)
How To Give A Woman An Orgasm
Right now, you may be confused. You may be wondering how to give a woman an orgasm. You may be wondering whether she'll ever have an orgasm, what it will feel like, and how it may change things for you.
And the woman in your life may be wondering why it is so difficult to reach orgasm. If so, she's probably eager to come easily, either during sex or masturbation. (Using female orgasm videos as an educational tool can help, especially if you are looking to achieve female ejaculation.)
The ideas explained here come from many years' working with women who wanted to enjoy an orgasm during masturbation or intercourse.
These women often expressed their fears and desires about sex, told us what worked and what didn't on their path to orgasm, and how they felt wonderful when they achieved a much more orgasmic sex life.
Of course, being able to reach orgasm easily isn't just about orgasm. It's about growing as a whole person, about becoming more sexual, more liberated, more fully in your body. It's about feeling sexual desire and arousal, and how you see yourself as a woman.
And of course, since most women are in relationship with men, it's essential that a man knows how to give a woman an orgasm. You see, evidence shows that the more orgasms a couple has, the happier their relationship. So while it may be true that love conquers all, you need to ensure that the lovemaking within your love is emotionally and physically pleasurable - which is the basis of the techniques we aim to show you here.
So one of the things we do is to explore your sexuality and your attitudes to it. No matter what you already know, or don't know, we will help you increase your understanding of sexuality in general, your own sexuality in particular, and your emotional and sexual relationships with others. All of this is an essential part of discovering how to give a a woman an orgasm.
Advice For Men Who Want To Make A Woman Come
There are some really important things to remember about orgasms, especially if you've never given a woman one.
Top of this list is the fact that you don't need to give a woman an orgasm every time you have sex or masturbate - sometimes, sensuous pleasure is enough - in other words, sometimes the intimacy of sex, or the physical pleasure of touching each other or yourself, is all that women want from intimacy.
Next is that you don't need to feel like a failure if you can't bring a woman off!
A lot of women find it hard to reach orgasm.
You see, women need a lot of sexual foreplay before they are sensitized to sexual arousal. Sometimes this takes a while. (Some scientists have even suggested that a woman's difficulty reaching orgasm might be genetic.)
And in some cases, a woman's sexual arousal and orgasmic responses have shut down because of emotional or physical abuse. (There are many forms of abuse, some of which are very subtle, but which can shut down a woman's sexual responsiveness and make her unable to experience orgasm.)
You need to keep in mind that women are subject to a lot of pressure to be sexual - you know, our culture somehow implies if a woman doesn't reach orgasm, she's somehow inadequate!
So let's see how a man can give a woman an orgasm easily.
It's a sad fact that women are not getting enough orgasms. There are many ways this shows up in society, not least in the fact that as many as 66% of women say they have faked orgasm!
I'm sure there are many reasons why women fake orgasms, but high on the list is the fact that they want to please their man, or they want to make him feel that he is great at making love.... or perhaps they are simply bored with sex which is all about the man's pleasure, especially when he's not in the least bit interested in finding out how to give his woman an orgasm!
The absence of female orgasm in so many relationships is a pretty poor
state of affairs, and it reflects badly on men: at least 40% of women say they
don't get enough
clitoral stimulation during lovemaking to make them orgasm.
The right question is whether or not men even know how to make a woman
come, and the answer seems to be that in many cases they don't.
The Mysterious Case of The Missing Female Orgasm
Probably a combination of both – it's certainly a lot more difficult to make a woman come than it is to make a man come – as every man who's had sex with a woman knows already!
But there's no excuse for men not satisfying their female partners when our female partners are trying so hard to give us pleasure – even if that is misguided and involves faking orgasms to please us!
So here are some simple tips and techniques that will help you pleasure a woman every time – and please make no mistake about it, the fact of the matter is most women want orgasms, and they are not getting them.
Video - why women are less likely to orgasm than men
Bear in mind too, that if you're in a relationship with a woman and she's not getting an orgasm - and she wants orgasms on a regular basis during romance, intimacy or lovemaking - there could be a point where she begins to wonder whether or not the man next door might be a better bet for bringing her off and giving her sexual pleasure than you!
Because not only does selfishness in the bedroom suggest that you can't be
bothered to help her come, to take it a climax, but it also suggests that
perhaps you're not really interested in her happiness on a general level.
Indeed, considering that most women are far more orgasmic than men – or at least potentially orgasmic – in that they are capable of multiple orgasms, the fact that men are not helping women to easily achieve orgasms suggests that women really are neglected sexually.
Male Ignorance Is No Excuse
Of course you know about the female orgasm, don't you? You may know that some women produce ejaculation fluid at orgasm – female ejaculation is something the internet's brought into popular culture in a big way, and it's a very exciting and sensual thing if you happen to experience it with your female partner.
But you don't have to be aiming for female ejaculation, or showing a woman how she can come, all you have to do is be aiming to have an enjoyable time in bed, where both of you leave your intimate exchanges of lovemaking fully satisfied.
To that end, the key is to give your woman plenty of attention!
While men can come quite quickly – perhaps within two or three minutes of stimulation starting, and certainly during lovemaking to 3 minutes is enough average man to reach point of ejaculation, women need up to 10 or 20 times longer to become aroused enough to reach the point of orgasm.
And I may remind you also, that for a woman to reach orgasm, she's generally not only got to like a partner but she's got to love and trust him as well.
Besides which there's a practical issue: lubrication!
A woman needs plenty of lubrication so that her vagina is comfortable during lovemaking, and if her own natural lubrication isn't sufficient for this job, then a supply of artificial lubrication is necessary.
Intimate Touching Is The Key To Giving A Woman An Orgasm
And above all else, you need to know how to caress a woman's body so as to sexually arouse her – in other words, you need to know what her erogenous zones are, and you need to know what kind of touch she likes.
When she begins to get aroused, that is, when she begins to show signs of sexual pleasure and increasing arousal, you need to know how to move your touch from the whole of her body onto the more erogenous and sexually arousing zones such as her nipples and clitoris.
An important point to bear in mind as we consider how to give a woman an orgasm is that sexual intercourse alone is not going to make a woman come – at least not generally.
Very few women can come through stimulation of the penis in the vagina – what makes a woman come, at least in the majority of cases, is clitoral stimulation.
You can do that with your fingers or
with your mouth, but however you do it, clitoral stimulation is the
key to giving a woman an orgasm.
While you enjoy intercourse hugely, she may not enjoy it as much as you do; for her, the pleasure of intercourse may come from the intimacy of physical connection with you, her partner, rather than the prospect of an orgasm.
And that's not to deny that penis in the vagina sex can be pleasurable for a woman whether or not she reaches orgasm, but my point is this: to reach orgasm the majority of women need clitoral stimulation not vaginal intercourse.
So one way to satisfy both partners might be to use a vibrator to bring her off with clitoral stimulation during sexual intercourse.
Another way to achieve this might be simply to play with her clitoris with your fingers (or have her do that), as you're making love to her.
Bear in mind that bringing woman to orgasm, bringing a woman off, is a skilful business which requires your attention and desire to pleasure her, as well as your involvement in her emotional life.
It is not a matter of bringing her to orgasm once in a while as a kind of reward for being allowed to fuck her! What you want to think about is developing a relationship of equality and strength where her sexual pleasure is as important as yours.
Video: Why Some Women Can't Orgasm
Here are a few thoughts on premature ejaculation, which is the most problematic issue for men when making love to a woman.
A man is not likely to be able to give a woman an orgasm - nor even to know how to give a woman an orgasm during intercourse - if he comes in as little as two minutes after penetrating his lover, and he's not getting anything like the highest possible level of sexual satisfaction for himself. Nor is he sexually pleasing his partner in a way that satisfies her.
The typical duration of love-making, especially in new couples, is only about three minutes, which is nowhere near enough for giving a woman an orgasm.
Any effort that you make to change this for the better will undoubtedly improve the emotional and physical aspects of your intimate sexual relationship.
And one of the essential by-products of this is that when a man takes the trouble to learn how to last longer during sex, a woman will always feel more cherished, respected and loved, and this will increase her sex drive.
I've counseled a lot of men who have premature ejaculation so I am well aware how challenging it is to increase your staying power. Yet this will make you feel good about yourself, which can make you ejaculate much more slowly during sex.
On The Site
More Tips For All (Men & Women)